I am writing this blog for a few reasons; to help erase the stigma of mental illness and because maybe there is someone out there that needs to hear/read this.
Growing up through highschool and college was pretty rough. Several OBGYN's told me I had PMDD. I didn't know what I had but I knew that every few months I felt like I was living in someone else's body. I was incredibly anxious at first, then I was angry, really angry. I would snap at people, say hateful things I didn't mean and ended way too many friendships because of these emotional outbursts. Then after the anger I would become depressed. I always thought I just had to mature and learn how to control my emotions better. However, as I got older the emotions got worse.
In my head I was convinced my situation was unique. No one has ever felt this way. No one would understand how I felt. If I talked to anyone they would think I was crazy. I was a burden. I was scared at any day I would have a psychotic break. I didn't deserve love. I didn't want kids because I didn't want to pass these traits on to anyone else. Mind you, all of these thoughts were just in my head. I am so glad that NONE of them are true.
Throughout this blog I will discuss how I felt during these times and how I got to where I am now. I know when I felt like that I would have loved to know that someone else had been there, that someone could relate. I would have loved to know that I was an average everyday ordinary girl. There was absolutely nothing WRONG with me.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Disclaimer
Nothing I post on this page should be considered counseling or professional advice. If you are having any emotional issues, anxiety or just feeling low, I urge you PLEASE talk to someone. Please seek professional help!
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