WOW... the past several weeks have been a roller coaster but manageable finally!
First, I knew I wanted to volunteer with an organization that worked with mental health and I can not believe how hard that was. (I will not name the organizations in order to protect them.) One organization was shut down because of all the budget cuts. I went to see another that told me they had NOTHING for me to do. This time I wasn't be treated differently because of my mental illness but because of being a pageant girl. Another organization didn't have a branch in Arizona yet, so I couldn't do much for them either. I was really frustrated and felt defeated. Then I found the Arizona Stigma Reduction Committee. It had been put on hold for awhile but now they needed someone to bring it back. I am that person! I know this is something I will continue way after my reign as Miss Arizona International is over.
On a personal note I was in a car accident, my grandmother was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer and my Pop's health hasn't been very good either. My mom had her state pageant which is always so much fun but very stressful preparing for it all.
Now when I went to my psychiatrist and told her all of this she was amazed I wasn't "stressed". Now when I go in to see her she makes me rate my emotions and symptoms on a scale of 1-10. I guess what I have never explained to her is, yeah I get anxious and sad but it's manageable now. Life isn't perfect, there are downs, and things don't go as planned most days but now I can handle it. Ready for the irony.... being diagnosed with depression has been one of the happiest days in my life! As a result, I can finally see the strength God blessed me with. I can finally live life and enjoy it.
